i smell popcorn at the 14th floor

hello im jorx...sitting besyd maix...

---commercial prologue by my vain friend/sister/classmate/officemate/cousin-in-law???

im currently into my slacker bitch mode... (sunog na raw ang popcorn na naaamoy namen!)
and recently wondering why in the wildest decisions have i come up with a flab-full body this months... cmon... the title says it all... ehem...

AND!!!

TADAAAAHHHH...

i'm hooked up again... lalalalala....

i miss school... friends... my best friend (well, her cellphones, her house, her dog, her driver, her 'pinks', our backstabbing, our c.r. chillin, her make-up, her wallet, her cheeks, her ranting, her whining... argh! that spoiled-oh-i-love-her-still being.) nasan ka na issa???

kamukha mo raw si cla... friend ni mercs.

sino nga pala si mercs...

(let me clear my throat first...) ahem! AHEEMMMM!!!!

(browsing through the texts in the previous paragraphs.. spare this entry for any typo's u know)...

mercs is... ahhh... Noel Patrick Yambao Mercado.... ngek? do i make sense???
i dont feel the need to let it linger... He's my boyfriend... ayan na! lumandi na naman ako!
oh yes...lumandi nanaman. i admit it, okay? so you guys don't have to push me extra (not my heavier body now) .

what else?... ah, yes... i'm working in a call center, ehem... yup... im working.

STOP>>> u don't care about this anyway, right???

let's talk, i mean, "type" or "blog" about something interesting...

STUDIES. OH YES!

hindi na ako dean's lister last semester oh my god.. --ha? e di ba wala naman akong pakialam?
meron akong baboy na kinakainisan pwera sa sarili ko na gusto kong ipasok sa microwave dito sa office!

AYYYY!!!! Ryan alayon miss na kita!!!! enrollment na daw sa ITANEO de TARLAC! hehehe!


actually the only reason why i miss school is because i miss all the people... especially those i hate. haha.i miss getting tired of seeing them everyday.miss ko rin kaya paper works?? haha!

kelan kaya mawawala ang inferiority complex ko?
kelan kaya ako papayat?
kelan kaya ako magiging photogenic?
ohhhh... hindeeee!!!!

i hope i'll be able to STRUT MY BUTT TO THE RAMP AGAIN (Lech: ASA EH!)
Anorexia umalis ka sa katawan ni Borja!!!! Lumipat ka saken!!! hahaha!!!

ay! invite daw namin si pepeton sa frndstr!!! ayoko! hehe. joke!

anyway... im running out of words already.

besides.

i dont smell the popcorn anymore.

_it's been a while_

yup! it's been quite a while until i last visited this divine... uh... spot?!
haha. hellah fellahs!!! how are you all doin? i've been busy these days...
and quite lazy to blog my mind out... spare the internet...
i've been talking a lot anyway.

so here i am again for a bunch of crap.

well as you guys obviously know, or for those people who were not able
to get the not-so-controversial scoop about moi... the last time i posted
some blah blahs here was when i was having quite few probs with my
f.l.[p]. pals you know... but there's no way to ranting anymore.
wer'e all at peace. nice...

and also, i was hooked up then.

now i declare my reconciliation to singlehood was already 4 months old!
oh well, as my previous post said. people do really need to make choices.
oh well, a lot of things happened after him you know.
yes, that old paopao whom i rented for a while
(whoa... who am i kidding and telling halfway true and false of a disclaimer????)

who could have thought that one of his friends and i had this thing? just last december...
well, we didn't mean a thing with that. besides... he decided not to push through.

SAYANG! haha. kidding. but at least he knew what to do. okay na rin di ba?!
let's turn a page... well, i had my hair colored. again. and i'm recently growing it
quite long patiently. haha. we have lots of things to do pa eh. besides i still have to go home.
i might overuse this pc.
by the way.
i'm in the library.
again.
ciao!
anne hathaway rules.... -japanese guilt, i admit-


mwah

Sometimes you need to make a choice.

In as much as i need peace, like what i used to have all the time
In as much as i respect individuality
And in as much as i respect myself

i just clearly think i have already had enough.

there are things you don't need to prove
things you don't need to hear
because in as much as i want to retain the respect i have in people
you just have to stay still, unmoved.

i don't speak ill as if i'm a loser
as if i didn't spend a whole lot of time with people
if they say i've thrown shit of the thing we used to have
think again.
if i threw it perhaps just like shit, they might have treated people like shit.

i don't question things as they go on as of now
all i know is that there are things i do not want to lose\
and there are things which i would rather not show.
things that can hurt
which i hate.
i don't want to get betrayed by my very own words.
i gotta live my life in consistency.
and in as much as i value friendship and loyalty
i guess i have given some
i guess i have never betrayed anyone
i guess i have never told them anything they owe.

in all humility i say
it was never in my character that i take things against me
if ever it is not done against me
and if ever it is
still i remain silent
because i clearly know i am no perfect
that all i gotta do is to keep respect.
and in times you tell the folks about the wrong things i've done
what can i do? it's your right of speech.
but worry about your wrongs
cuz your folks would be more concerned about it
unlike the damn mine.

but don't ever worry.
i respect lives.
i understand mistakes.
i keep silent.
this is how i love.

I LOVE YOU PAOLO

Oh yes, we're back together... mwah!
************************************************

_Everything i do, i do it for you_

Look into my eyes
you will see
what you mean to me
Search your heart
Search your soul
When you find me there
You'll search no more

Don't tell me it's not worth fighting for
Can't help it there's nothing i want more
you know it's true
everything i do
i'll do it for you

Look into my heart
and you will find
there's nothing left to hide
take me as i am
take my life
i will give it all
i would sacrifice

Don't tell me it's not worth fighting for
Can't help it there's nothing i want more
you know it's true
everything i do
i'll do it for you

*wink wink*

woohow... i love the world...
last monday was a gigantic overload for me, my parents broke my relationship with paolo over the phone, how's that? eh, he was about to "set me free", oh well i didn't allow him to. i told him that it would be harder for me if he does that. cuz he told me that he wants to set me free because he doesn't want to see me suffer anymore that's why he's willing to sacrifice... *tears*tears*

But NO!!! Stop!!! haha... We love each other eh... sobra. We'll just find ways to make it through, but we are making it through right?! hehe...
basta i love him, grabe... (dan dan dan dan..... Mushy me here she comes again!)
well anyways, we'll push through this. I love him eh! hahaha... arteh.

and now, to stop mushy me from invading this blog, back to pics!
i don't love myself too much right? hahaha...




sooooooo bangag... pose.
















pinch thy divine cheeks dear Goddesses














and rock humanity...














yeah, we admit. immortals also gossip.











the morena side of me

O C'mon... Face it, You're alone.

what's wrong with me? think i always pretend and think that i have people around me... technically, yes there are. but who am i kidding? i am alone in fact, i face my life alone, i face all of them alone. i don't give a damn on what other people think of me or accuse me, anyways they do not help me succeed. why do i always have to be judged? i feel so damn ignored, as if i have no feelings, as if i don't really matter, as if i'm just nothing...

well, i don't feel the need to prove people anything. i am pleasing no one.

i just hope that my parents and paolo would be okay now.

in fact, it's fine with me if i am the one who will suffer and sacrifice, but not my parents, not even paolo.

don't give me a hug or pat my shoulder, i won't feel phony things anyway... thanks though for minding me. i know it took you a hard time...

oh well, i'm rambling... so what? this is my blog.

it's just that i'm sick of being stuck again. aren't they sick of putting me down? poor you, you put too much attention on me, thanks... but let me remind you, you have yours to look after. you might be left behind because of intruding so much, blaming so much...

you are no perfect. think you forgot, right?

Major Badtrip... Mushed Me

you know the feeling when you're being reprimanded by your parents right?
ey, don't get me wrong okay, it doesn't mean i don't want to get intruded by my parents, of course that's fine.
i just can't bear the cruel things they tell and accuse me sometimes
they accuse me of the things i didn't even do
they say things as if they don't care about how i feel...
well, it just hurts me that i lived my life the way they want me to live it...
they tell me they hat it when i lie to them and keep secrets,
can they blame me if i do that sometimes?
do they care to listen and understand or even hear and let me talk?
lucky me i can still move on, i still make myself shine and be an expert on fake smiles...
lucky me i love all the time...

And to my Paolo, thanks a lot man... you're one reason why i keep on holdin on...
and the other one is ME and YOU... (buzz buzz.... mushy me here she comes...)

i Love You Honey.......

Though i don't really seem to show... i do.

dearly

sincerely

and with loyalty.

keep on lovin me ayt?

i know i don't need to ask,

i just wanna need to need you baby...

i want and love you.

that i'm selfish, very self-centeredly human...

or simply

In love. *sniff sniff*

so how's the... err... white shirt?
yup, we're havin a really great time...



at last, may pic nako sa blog!
birthday ng mobhie... sa bahay nila lishie! it's me, issa, and juju sa dilim!
1st monthsary namen ni paolo ko last august 27... God, late nako nag-update sa blog... ampf!
haha!!! ang arte talaga kahet sa dileeemmmm!!!!
like what issa's been telling me... i'm so arte, so i'd better stay maarte... haha.
yeah, vain na nga sige na lech! you win geek... :->

shucks, last september 3... birthday ni eriz ung bestfriend ni paolo...
yeah, yeah... i was invited!? baket? hehe... joke lang.
oh well, we're okay na... at least... i saw klaudette, well, she's maputi... mas maganda ako!!!! waaaahhhh... feelingera...

anyways...

thanks to my sponsor:

*ahem* paolo parial

uy honey quit smoking na ha!!!

i love you full tank!